


death by a thousand cuts

by heavenlydevil



Series: lover [1]
Category: Persona 5
Genre: Crushes, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, Pining, futaba and ren are siblings, kind of, makoto and akechi are siblings, references to fucked up mental health, tagging just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-23
Updated: 2020-02-23
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:01:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22866787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heavenlydevil/pseuds/heavenlydevil
Summary: Ren wishes Makoto's older brother wasn't so cute.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Amamiya Ren, Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Series: lover [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1643725
Comments: 4
Kudos: 80





	death by a thousand cuts

_'And I don't want the world to see me, cause I don't think they'd understand…'_

"God, why does he have to be so fuckin' emo? This is, like, the fifth song in the same realm…" Ryuji grumbles, turning away for a brief second from Mario Kart and giving Futaba the perfect opportunity to red shell him. He lets out creative array of curses, trying to get his Bowser back to the lead whilst she giggles.

Makoto sighs and shrugs, jotting down things to her notebook.

"He's been down for few weeks. I don't really know why."

Ren tries to pretend he's not listening intently to this conversation and looks at the TV screen without really seeing anything but flash of colours and lights. He hasn't seen Akechi today, even though he usually at least comes to greet them when his small gang of friends visit Makoto's house. He licks his dry lips. He tries to not to let that bother him.

Makoto continues, "He's not really open about these things. In fact, I think this is biggest display of emotion I've seen from him in a while."

Well, that's not terribly hard to imagine. After all, Goro Akechi is…

"…emotionally repressed bastard," Ryuji grumbles and while Ren wouldn't say that himself, he can't really disagree with the notion. He taps thoughtfully his chin.

…Maybe bastard is going a bit too far. From the little he knows, that might hitting under the belt. Makoto seems to agree, since she has now moved from her notebook to giving Ryuji a steely gaze. Which he can't notice, but. Well. It's the thought that counts. Makoto and Akechi don't always agree on things, or even get along on the most days, but Ren does notice a brother-sister bond between them. It's different than his and Futaba's, but...

For all he knows, adopted siblings get along better since they haven't been able to spend all their lives fighting.

"Like you're any better," Ann murmurs as a reply to Ryuji's earlier comment, snapping Ren from his thought. He can't help but snort. Ann notices, and gives him a tiny, conspirational smile. No one else seems to notice or hear, and that's probably for the better. He really doesn't want them to have an argument now, they're having fun hanging out. It's comfortable, cozy.

Well, except maybe for the angsty music and probably angsty teenager upstairs. Ren bites his lip and tries to really, really hard to focus on the screen. Ryuji is still losing, he's sure.

….Pretty sure.

Yusuke hums from his sketchpad, and offers, "Perhaps we could ask him to turn it down a little? I am sure he wouldn't mind."

Ah, the sweet, optimistic Yusuke.

Haru seems so engrossed on her phone that looks like her eyes are going to fall off. Ann bites her lip uncomfortably, and even Makoto is looking hesitant.

"Woohoo!" Futaba yells excitedly, even though her win isn't at all surprising. Ryuji sighs, and throws his controller on the ground, turning towards the others.

"I mean, I think we should, it's getting pretty damn annoying," Ryuji is scratching his head.

"Are you offering to go?" Makoto says, coolly. But Ren notices the small twinge in her eyes. Ryuji splutters and hastily turns the offer down, looking mortified. Ren loves him with all his might (in the appropriate 'bro' way, of course) but by god, does Ryuji sometimes get on his nerves. Ren picks off dust from his blouse and stays quiet.

"Ren could do it," Futaba says casually, from where she's still slouched over the TV, looking through character selection. Too casually. He fiddles with his glasses, and tries not to imagine glee on her face. Futaba is a traitor and he will never get her cookies when he's grocery shopping ever again. Well, at least not for a week or so.

…He never should've talked about _that_ with her. He knows her too well, and she's way too mischievous. But… it was eating him up, and she's his little sister. Besides, he's pretty sure she already knew for months even though she never said so.

"Sure! You up for it, leader?" And now Ryuji's grinning at him in his infectious, cheerful way. It was already hard for him to say no, and now it's next to impossible. He sighs.

Then he nods.

* * *

_Ugh_.

He feels like his insides are turning upside down, or maybe into jelly, or spaghetti, or _something_. Whatever they are doing, it's not good. Maybe he should just turn away from Akechi's door and pretend to be sick. Or just leave Makoto's house without a word. Run into the mountains, possibly. Where there are no elder brothers of his friends with sly smiles and smooth skin and piercing eyes and…

Oh my god he's pathetic. It's not a big deal. He takes a deep breath and gathers courage he doesn't have, not with _him_ , and knocks gently.

Too gently, apparently, since after waiting for what feels like an eternity, and trying to get his insides to maybe chill out a little bit, nothing's happening. The music is still blaring, and he doesn't hear any other noises from inside. Maybe this is a God's way of giving him an opportunity to escape. He should leave, go to his house, possibly become a shut-in and start drawing yaoi….

And then the door opens.

He's faced with a very alarmed looking Akechi. And, well… not just alarmed. Ren has never seen him like… Like this.

He looks like an utter mess.

And Ren absolutely despises himself from going little weak in the knees and starting to memorize his appearance into his brain.

Akechi is wearing sweats and a t-shirt (so casual), and his hair is not sleek and clean-looking like it usually is. His eyes are red and puffy, and oh my god Ren can see Akechi's sharp collarbones. His eyes trail down to see two tiny feet in dark blue sweats. He knows he's a lost cause when he finds himself thinking that that's adorable. Akechi is blinking at him tiredly, a clear confusion in his brows.

"May I help you?" Akechi asks, his voice smooth like butter but with a bit of hoarseness to it. Just a hint. Ren hums, and tucks his hands in his pockets.

"I was sent to ask you turn the music down." Smooth. Akechi looks down on the floor, but before that, there's fleeting moment of panic in his eyes. He digs his toe into the carpet. Again, adorable.

"I didn't hear you come in," Akechi says and tucks his hair behind his ear and looks up at Ren from underneath his lashes. "Is everyone here?"

Ren hums affirmatively. Akechi lets out a quiet groan, and then looks up properly. He has plastered his plastic smile on his face, though it's nowhere near as smooth as it usually is.

"I'm terribly sorry. I'll turn it down immediately," and then he's turning to leave, and Ren, Ren can't let him.

As much of a horny teenager he is and as much as it gets him going in all the fucked-up ways to see the perfect, clean Akechi messy, he still can't let him suffer alone.

"Wait!" Akechi turns. There's a spark of something in his eyes Ren cannot identify. Isn't sure if he wants to. He hesitates.

"Yes?" Akechi says, and now there's an edge in his voice, even though he says it with his most angelic smile. It's such a sharp contrast.

"I-I was wondering…" He rubs his neck.

"Do you want to come play video games with us?" Akechi's face goes perfectly blank and empty for few moments. Then he smiles, with sharp, white teeth exposing themselves from the corner of his lips.

"No, thank you," he says, lowly.

There's a pause and he feels like the other boy is mulling over something.

"I… do appreciate the offer, though. Truly." Then he retreats into his room, swiftly, slamming the door perhaps bit too loudly. Moments later, the music has turned off.

Ren huffs. He hasn't noticed before, but his heart is beating crazy fast. He takes few steadying breaths. He wonders how pathetic it would be if he jerked off to this later.

Hmmm, that'd probably be a new low. Even for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Ughhh. Not super happy with this, but it'll do. (But when am I happy with my work lmao)
> 
> I am doing some good ol' yearning and inappropriate crushing myself right now, so it was a good break to write this out. I might add some more stuff to this verse, I already have some ideas. (Should I work in my WIP: yes, but last time I tried I had issues)


End file.
